How to Recover and Move On After a Breakup: 9 ESSENTIAL STEPS

Having a tough time moving on from breakup or heartbreak? You’re not alone.

I have to start off with a quote that’s often relevant in many breakups… These simple words can resonate deeply with anyone who has experienced the end of a relationship.

A breakup can be profoundly challenging, leaving us feeling lost, hurt, and overwhelmed. Whether the relationship ended amicably or in turmoil, the aftermath often requires a significant period of healing and self-reflection. Navigating this emotional landscape may seem daunting, but it is important to remember that recovery is not only possible—it can also be an empowering journey of self-discovery.

In this post, I have five essential steps to help you begin recovering from a breakup. It’s practical advice and honest compassionate support to help you mend your heart and move forward with renewed clarity and strength.

So, let’s get off this emotional rollercoaster, move on from heartbreak and celebrate our inner strength and resilience.

How to Recover and Move On After a Breakup:

9 ESSENTIAL STEPS

1. Let Yourself Grieve and Forgive

Give yourself permission to grieve. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and not keep them bottled up. Let yourself cry, talk to a friend, or write down your thoughts in a journal. 

The key is to process your emotions instead of pushing them down.

When a relationship ends, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions – sadness, anger, confusion, maybe even relief. Take the time to process these feelings. Treating yourself to some comforting activities like eating ice cream and reading sad quotes, having a good cry, or watching cheesy love movies is a part of the process. This is your time to grieve the end of this chapter.

Grief isn’t just for losing loved ones; it’s also for the end of relationships. 

Take your time to feel the heartbreak, cherish the good memories, and embrace the feeling of being lost and messy. Remember, it’s okay to be a beautiful, hot mess.

2. Avoid the Trap of Social Media Stalking

Life is so digital now, and I know staying connected to an ex through social media can be incredibly tempting, but it often hinders the healing process. Constantly checking your ex’s social media or looking at old photos can reopen emotional wounds and prevent you from moving forward. 

The feeling of love is powerful and can consume you if you don’t allow yourself time to heal. 

Even though it’s been 20 years since I first fell hard for my first love, I still avoid scrolling through social media to check up on him, as the memories still sting. Trust me—it’s best to resist the urge and protect your heart.

And don’t listen to Riley Green ‘Worst Way’! Of course it comes on as I’m updating this post haha. 

It’s ESSENTIAL to create boundaries and distance to allow your heart to heal.

Consider unfollowing or muting your ex on social, at least temporarily, to avoid the emotional triggers that come from seeing their updates. This also extends to mutual friends’ posts or photos that might involve your ex. Focus on curating your digital space with positivity, following people and accounts that inspire and uplift you instead. Social media can be a tool for growth, but only if YOU use it wisely during this sensitive period.

3. Embrace the Power of Solitude

After a breakup, it’s natural to feel a void, but instead of filling it with distractions, take this time to embrace solitude. 

Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. 

It’s an opportunity to reconnect with yourself and enjoy your own company. Spend time reflecting on who you are as an individual, independent of the relationship. Use this time to nurture your personal growth by journaling, meditating, or simply engaging in activities that make you feel fulfilled.

Solitude can be a powerful teacher. 

It encourages self-reliance and helps you become comfortable in your own skin again. It’s during these quiet moments that you can gain clarity about what you truly want in life and in future relationships. Use this period to rebuild a strong sense of self-worth, which can often be shaken during a breakup. 

Remember, before you can truly love someone else, you have to love yourself first.

4. Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of your physical health after a breakup is important for bouncing back and staying strong emotionally. Regular exercise is a great way to boost your mood and lower stress levels by releasing those feel-good endorphins. Plus, when you feel better you have more confidence in yourself.

As a nurse I know it’s just as important to be eating a balanced diet. It gives your body the nutrients it needs to work at its best, keep your energy up and stabilize your mood.

And don’t forget about getting enough quality sleep! It helps your body recover from all that stress and keeps your brain sharp, so you can handle those tough emotions you’re going through.

So, remember to focus on exercise, eating right, and getting good sleep to set yourself up for healing and personal growth.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Breakups can leave your mind racing with negative thoughts, memories, and “what if” scenarios. One powerful way to counter this terrible emotional turbulence is through mindfulness and meditation. 

By staying present and focusing on the moment, you can calm your mind and distance yourself from the past.

The more you practice it the stronger and unstoppable your mind can become. 

Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided meditations, can help reduce anxiety and emotional stress. There are plenty of apps and online resources that offer easy meditation exercises that you can incorporate into your daily routine. 

Over time, you’ll find yourself becoming more centered, emotionally stable, and resilient in dealing with the ups and downs of your healing journey.

6. Seek Emotional Support From Friends and Family

Talking to friends and family can make a big difference when you’re going through a tough time. Don’t be afraid to reach out and let your loved ones know what you’re going through. Sharing your feelings with them can be really healing.

Don’t forget to consider professional help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counsellor. They can provide you with tools and strategies to help you cope. You could also look into joining a support group, where you can connect with others who have been through similar situations. It can be really validating and helpful to talk to people who understand what you’re going through.

7. Rediscover Your Passions and Hobbies

Taking care of yourself is important after a breakup. It’s totally normal to feel emotionally confused and drained, but it’s also a great chance to focus on yourself and rediscover what makes you happy. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in your partner’s interests and forget about your own.

But now that you’re single, you have the perfect opportunity to dive back into your passions and hobbies.

Whether it’s picking up an old hobby like painting or hiking, or trying something new like learning to play an instrument, this is your time to explore and heal. By doing things you love, you’re not only reconnecting with yourself but also boosting your self-esteem, which may have taken a hit during the breakup.

8. Set New Goals

This is my favorite coping mechanism, and I truly believe it can help you too. Whenever I’ve gone through a breakup, staying busy has been a fantastic way to distract myself from the past and look towards the future.

After a breakup, setting new goals in life can give you a sense of purpose and direction. It can help you move forward and focus on creating a brighter future. Whether you decide to work on personal growth, take better care of yourself, switch careers, or pick up a new hobby, having clear goals can give you something positive to strive for. It can also improve your mental and emotional wellbeing as you navigate through this tough time. Start small while you rebuild your confidence and sense of self.

9. Forgive Yourself and Your Ex

Healing from a breakup often requires an act of forgiveness—not just for your ex, but for yourself as well. Relationships end for a variety of reasons, and sometimes it’s easy to blame ourselves for what went wrong. Understand that mistakes, miscommunications, and even failures are part of the human experience. Sometimes, there’s no clear reason for a breakup other than the fact that you and your partner are heading in different directions in life. It’s as simple as that.

Forgiving yourself means letting go of the guilt or regret and accepting that the end of the relationship was a part of your life journey.

Remember, everything happens for a reason. 

Forgiving your ex, however difficult it may seem, can also free you from bitterness or resentment. Holding onto anger or grudges only prolongs your pain. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning hurtful behavior; it’s about releasing the emotional hold it has on you, so you can move forward with peace and clarity.

STILL GOT QUESTIONS?

4 ADDITIONAL TIPS

1. Additional IMPORTANT TIPS for coping after a breakup:

• Limit or eliminate contact with your ex, especially in the early stages, it will prevent you from truly healing.

• Avoid jumping into a new relationship too soon, since rebound relationships can complicate the healing process and prevent you from dealing with your emotions as well.

• Remover any reminders of your ex, such as gifts, photos, etc. It will help you move forward.

• Stay as positive as you can. Remind yourself that a breakup is not the end, but actually a new beginning, and that things will be ok.

• Remember to be patient and be gentle with yourself; just like everything else in life, the healing process takes time.

2. How long does it take to fully recover from a breakup?

I believe that it’s important to consider the duration of the relationship and the level of emotional investment from both people involved. The presence of infidelity and the person who initiated the breakup are also important factors to consider. Additionally, the overall health of the relationship and the frequency of conflicts can impact the time it takes to recover from a breakup.

Research suggests that it typically takes about 3 to 3.5 months to begin feeling better after a breakup. However, for longer-term relationships, the healing process can extend from a few months to a few years. So, it’s important to be patient with yourself and give yourself the time needed to heal and move on.

3. Is it normal to still have feelings for my ex even after the breakup?

According to A Very Well Mind, You might still feel like you love your ex because you have cherished memories of your time together and tend to remember the good times while forgetting the bad. This often leads you to focus on their positive qualities and overlook their negative traits. Additionally, you may still feel attracted to them and grieve the loss of the potential future you envisioned together. It’s also possible that you are still in love with the idealized version of your ex that you had before the breakup.

4. How can I know when I’m ready to start dating again after a breakup?

An article by Julia Naftulin on The Business Insider outlines some of the signs that indicate you might be ready to date again after a breakup. Key indicators include feeling emotionally stable, having processed the breakup healthily, and being excited about the prospect of meeting new people. It’s important to ensure you’re not seeking a new relationship to fill a void left by the previous one. Rebuilding a strong sense of self, engaging in activities you enjoy, and being open to new experiences are also positive signs that you’re ready to move on​.

Thank You Credits: Cover Photo by Kate Branch Designed by Shopify.

Morris, S. (2022, October 5). I still love my ex: What to do if you feel this way. VeryWellMind. https://www.verywellmind.com/i-still-love-my-ex-what-to-do-if-you-feel-this-way-5206979

Mitrokostas, S. (2021, May 11). Signs you are ready to date again after a breakup, according to experts. Business Insider. Retrieved from https://www.businessinsider.com/signs-you-are-ready-to-date-again-after-breakup-advice-2021-5