How to Make Better Decisions: The One Question I Wish I’d Started Asking Years Ago

If you’ve ever wondered how to make better decisions without overthinking everything, this one’s for you.

July 21, 2026 | The Unscripted Femme

Some decisions deserve spreadsheets while others deserve a snack and a good night’s sleep.

I’ve learned the hard way that not every thought needs immediate action—even though my brain occasionally acts like it’s responding to a five-alarm emergency because someone looked at me funny at work. Okay, yes. That was the old me.

The older I get, the more I realize that most bad decisions have one thing in common:

I made them when my emotions were driving.

Angry?
I wanted to respond immediately.

Frustrated?
I wanted to quit.

Embarrassed?
I assumed everyone was thinking about me.

Excited?
Suddenly buying patio furniture at 10:30 p.m. seemed completely reasonable.

Our emotions can quickly influence the choices we make, often before we even realize it. If you’re curious about the science behind it, Harvard Kennedy School has a great explanation of how emotions affect decision-making.

It’s amazing what feels like a life-changing decision until you’ve had breakfast.

Recently I came across one simple question that has changed how I think about almost everything.

And the best part? It only takes a few seconds.

The Question That Changes Everything

Before you react, ask yourself:

“Will this still matter a year from now?”

Sometimes you could even stretch it to five years. Or ten.

It’s funny what happens when you zoom out.

That awkward conversation?
Probably forgotten.

The rude comment online?
Definitely forgotten.

The tiny mistake you replayed seventeen times before bed?
Everyone else has already moved on.

Our brains have a remarkable talent for treating temporary problems like permanent disasters.

Most Bad Decisions Start With Big Feelings

I’ve noticed that almost every decision I regret was made in the heat of the moment. And not because I’m impulsive all the time. But because emotions make everything feel urgent.

When you’re upset, your brain whispers:

“You need to fix this right now.”

Except…you usually don’t.

Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is absolutely nothing until tomorrow.

I know, it’s incredibly unexciting advice. Which is probably why it works.

Learning to pause has also changed the way I think about mindfulness. Not in a “sit perfectly still on a mountain and have no thoughts” kind of way (because, honestly, my brain did not get that memo), but in simply learning to notice what’s happening before reacting. You can read more about that here: What Is Mindfulness? And How to Practice It Every Day.

Future You Is Usually Much Wiser

I like imagining Future Me looking back.

She’s standing there with a coffee, wondering why Present Me thought buying that thing, sending that text, or worrying for three straight hours was such an emergency.

Future Me is much calmer. She has perspective.

I’ve had so many moments where I was convinced something was a much bigger deal than it actually was. A conversation I replayed over and over. A decision I obsessed about. A problem I was determined to solve before I even knew what the actual problem was.

And then, somehow, time passed.

The thing I thought would bother me forever became a funny story, a lesson, or something I barely remembered at all.

Future Me knows that most problems either work themselves out or become much smaller than they first appeared.

Honestly, she’s kind of annoying.

But she’s usually right.

Not Every Decision Needs Your Best Energy

One thing I’ve been trying to do lately is stop giving tiny decisions so much of my time.

Should I spend the afternoon worrying about something I can’t control?
Will I remember this next summer?
Does this actually deserve my energy?

Sometimes the answer is yes.

Like a health diagnosis.
A relationship.
A major career change.

Those deserve thoughtful decisions.

But a passive-aggressive email? Probably not.

A Little Distance Can Save You a Lot of Regret

One of the nicest parts of getting older is realizing that almost everything feels less dramatic with a little time.

You don’t have to respond immediately.
You don’t have to solve every problem today.
You don’t even have to know exactly what to do.

Sometimes all you need is enough distance to let your emotions settle before your wisdom catches up.

And if you’re anything like me, wisdom usually arrives sometime after coffee.

Try This the Next Time You’re Stuck

The next time you’re about to make a decision because you’re angry, anxious, embarrassed, or overwhelmed, pause for just a moment.

Ask yourself:

Will this matter a year from now?

If the answer is yes, give it the attention it deserves.

If the answer is no, maybe it doesn’t deserve quite so much of your peace today.

Because life has enough genuinely important decisions without turning every Tuesday into a crisis.