11 Ways to Focus on the Good When Life Feels Hard

11 Ways to Focus on the Good When Life Feels Hard

Life feels hard sometimes, and it rarely goes the way we plan. Whatever’s making it tough — breakups, chronic illness, moving to a new city, starting a new job, or even losing one — it’s easy to feel completely overwhelmed. I’ve been there, and maybe you’re there right now too.

“Life is messy, hard, and unpredictable — but even in the hardest moments, there’s still something worth noticing.”

– The Unscripted Femme

I wanted to share with you what helps me focus on the good, even when life feels hard. Now I’m not saying you should ignore the hard stuff and force yourself to be only positive all the time — that’s just not realistic. It’s about noticing the little things that are still okay, still beautiful, and still worth appreciating, even in the middle of chaos. Those small moments of gratitude and awareness help me stay grounded, calm my mind, and find a little balance without completely losing my mind.

What It Means to ‘Focus on the Good’

• Noticing what’s still okay, even when life feels messy.
• Paying attention to small things you can appreciate — a good cup of coffee, a kind text, a sunny moment.
• Practicing consistency: remind yourself daily to spot little silver linings.
• Balancing the hard stuff with what’s still working.
• Celebrating progress instead of only focusing on what’s missing.
  

What It Means to ‘Not Focus on the Good’

• Getting stuck in negative spirals.
• Ignoring small wins and only seeing what went wrong.
• Letting stress and problems take over your attention.
• Believing things will always be bad or that change isn’t possible.
• Feeding your brain doomscrolling, complaining, or constant comparison.

11 Ways to Focus on the Good When Life Feels Hard

1. Remind Yourself It’s Temporary

I wanted to start off with this one because during hard times, we often forget that every tough moment we’re going through is temporary.

When you’re in the middle of something difficult, it can feel like it’s going to last forever. But it won’t. Nothing does. Even the hardest times and seasons eventually shift.

So, don’t forget to remind yourself: “You won’t always feel this way.” Think back to past challenges you didn’t think you’d survive — and remember how you did. Sometimes just holding onto the idea that this is temporary is enough to get you through today.

2. Practice Gratitude (Even in Small Ways)

When life feels like it’s falling apart, I know it’s easy to forget that anything is actually going right. But honestly? There’s always something, even if it’s tiny.

One thing I’ve learned — posting about your problems all over social media rarely makes you feel better. Usually, it just adds more stress. Instead, I try to focus on what’s going well, no matter how small.

Science backs it up, too. Daily gratitude practices can boost your mood, reduce stress, and improve overall wellbeing. Brain imaging studies even show that focusing on gratitude activates the prefrontal cortex — the part of your brain that helps with decision-making and emotional regulation. Translation? Noticing the good can literally make your brain calmer and more resilient.

Did you know: people who practice gratitude regularly often notice silver linings in tough situations. It doesn’t mean ignoring pain or pretending everything’s fine — it’s just training your mind to spot opportunities for growth, even when life is hard.

Even jotting down 2–3 things you’re thankful for each day can add up. Over time, those small sparks of positivity really shift your mindset, helping you feel more grounded, resilient, and yes, even a little happier.

3. Brain Dump Journaling

When my brain won’t stop racing, journaling is my go-to for getting all those thoughts out of my head. Messy, angry, hopeful — it doesn’t matter what it looks like.

Science backs this up, too. Brain dump journaling can reduce stress and improve emotional clarity. Even just a few minutes a day helps me process my feelings and notice patterns I might otherwise miss.

I like to think of it like cleaning out a junk drawer — all the random scraps, receipts, and clutter are finally out where you can see them. Once they’re on paper, your mind doesn’t have to juggle them anymore. That rant about your boss? Out of my head. The 47 to-dos swirling around? Written down, way less overwhelming.

Grab a notebook, your phone, or even sticky notes, and just start writing. Seeing your thoughts outside your head is surprisingly freeing — and honestly, sometimes that’s all it takes to feel a little lighter.

Want help getting started? That’s why I created “How to Start Journaling for Beginners + a 30-Day Challenge pdf”.

4. Go for a Walk Outside

Honestly, when life feels hard sometimes the best thing you can do when life is hard is to just get up and go for a walk. Even ten minutes outside can completely shift how you feel.

I try to really notice the little things — the fresh air on my face, sunlight warming my skin, birds chirping, or leaves crunching underfoot. These small moments pull you out of your head and back into the present.

Here’s what walking outside does for your brain and mood:

• Lowers stress: Nature reduces cortisol, your stress hormone.
• Boosts mood: Sunlight increases serotonin, your brain’s “happiness hormone.”
• Clears mental fog: Walking improves blood flow and oxygen → better focus and clarity.
• Shifts perspective: Moving through space helps unstick repetitive thoughts → mental reset.
• Mindful distraction: Noticing birds, trees, or the breeze pulls attention away from stress.
• Sense of accomplishment: “I moved, I did something for myself” → boosts motivation and self-esteem.

When my mind feels stuck or racing, moving my body helps me gain clarity. I think of a walk as a simple reset button — sometimes all you need is to put one foot in front of the other.

5. Pray, Meditate, or Practice Mindfulness

If I’m feeling weighed down, prayer can be surprisingly grounding — a way to pause, reflect, or just release some of the mental clutter and stress I’ve been carrying. Mindfulness works just as well. Even a quick two-minute breathing exercise can reset my brain and help me feel more at ease. It takes practice, but I promise it gets easier the more you do it.

The beauty of mindfulness is how flexible it is. You don’t need a special app, a quiet room, or much extra time in your day. I sometimes sit in my car for a few minutes on my work break, or lie in bed just noticing the rise and fall of my chest. Tiny pauses like these add up, helping me feel calmer, clearer, and a little more in control when life feels overwhelming.

6. Lean on Friends, Family, or Community

Support doesn’t have to mean a big group of friends — sometimes it’s just that one person showing up that makes all the difference when life feels hard. A quick phone call, a “thinking of you” message, or even just sitting in the same room with someone can remind me I’m not alone.

Human connection literally helps your brain handle stress better, reduces feelings of isolation, and can make tough days feel a little easier.

7. Stick to Routines

When life feels chaotic, routines can be grounding . Going through familiar motions gives my body and mind a sense of stability. It’s like telling myself, “Okay, this part of my day is under control.” That little bit of structure helps calm my racing thoughts and makes stressful moments feel a bit more manageable.

8. Use Creative Distractions

When life feels hard, sometimes the best thing I can do is give my hands or my mind something to focus on. For me, that might be baking, listening to music, or scribbling in my journal.

Creative distractions aren’t about being productive — they’re about giving your brain a break. Even 10–15 minutes of something hands-on can slow racing thoughts, reduce stress, and help me come back to my problems with a bit more clarity.

9. Seek Therapy or Counseling

Sometimes self-help hacks just aren’t enough, and that’s okay. Talking to a therapist can feel intimidating, but I like to think of it as hiring a personal trainer for your brain. You wouldn’t wait for your car to completely break down before taking it to the shop, right? Mental health works the same way.

A therapist gives me a fresh perspective, practical tools to cope, and someone who actually listens without judgment. Even just a few sessions can help me see things differently and make tough times feel a little more manageable.

10. Set Boundaries

When I’m already feeling overwhelmed, saying “yes” to everything is basically setting myself up for burnout. Hard times are exactly when I need to protect my energy. So no, I don’t have to go to every event, answer every email, or bake cookies for that school fundraiser — unless I actually want to.

"Setting healthy boundaries is another key way to protect your energy and stay grounded, even when life feels overwhelming. Check out my guide on Healthy Boundaries in a Relationship to learn how to create limits that work for you."

11. Laugh

Humor doesn’t erase my problems, but it sure makes them feel a little lighter. I try to laugh at the absurdity, share a ridiculous meme, or watch a dumb comedy. Sometimes the best medicine is realizing that even in the middle of chaos, something can still make me snort-laugh.

Focusing on the good isn’t about ignoring reality. It’s about noticing the little things — the routines, the laughter, the people, the small wins — that make hard times a little less hard.

Because the truth is, life will always throw challenges your way. But if I can hold onto gratitude, humor, and those tiny joys, I know I’ll get through. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll come out the other side stronger — and with some great stories to tell.